asexuality

Guys--in case you care and in case it hasn't come to your attention, I recently started a Tumblr which has an asexual theme.

Everyday Ignorance

I intended to mainly use it to toss around silly comments people make at me during my asexuality awareness quests. You know, ignorant YouTube comments and whatnot. Both as a way to blow off steam and a way to show people that a) we get these kinds of comments and b) this is how I counter them. So some people don't much like reading it since it's full of, you know, crappy ace hate. (Well, crappy ace hate being put in its place.)

Anyway, people warned me for a long time about how much wank there is on Tumblr. And I figured, hey, whatever. I can deal with it. BUT. Lordy. It really is pretty terrible. So, even though I kinda told myself I didn't want to get involved with the slap-fights, I found myself succumbing to the urge to rant today. I did so in this post which may interest some of you:

On the Inside

This is a rant about how people from outside the asexual community keep hating on graysexuals and demisexuals, claiming that their experience is actually quite normative and doesn't deserve a name, an acknowledgment, or any discussion. Because, you know, looking at it from the outside and dismissing it with a bunch of bratty talk is in no way something normatively sexual people do to us all the time. The rant makes the case for why both the labels and the discussion are necessary, and why people who can't see the difference between our experience and a normatively sexual person's experience don't have the right to define it.

Read it, reblog, follow, comment, whatever. Or don't. But I thought some of you might like to read it. ;)

So in the past year or so I started identifying as demisexual or as being on the asexual spectrum. I've told a few friends but the majority still only know me as a gay man or straight if I haven't told them I'm gay. I have no desire for sex and never have and I wish I had known about asexuality a lot earlier because it would have saved a lot of confusion. My lack of desire for sex has never concerned me and it doesn't bother me now. However in the past 6 months or so have also realised that I have no desire for romantic relationships either. I see couples together and I think it is really nice and awesome and then wonder why I don't want that.

( The rest is under here to save space and because I briefly talk about sex )

Hi everyone - just thought I'd draw your attention to an article in an Australian newspaper on asexuality: http://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/life/asexual-awakening-20120507-1y8n5.html

I thought it was a pretty good, non-judgemental and balanced article, although I would have liked it if they'd explained that you can be aromantic or otherwise, as well as asexual, I felt it might have left people a bit confused about that. I also liked that they gave far more space to the people clearly and sensibly explaining what asexuality actually is, and far less space to the "therapist" who thinks there's no such thing! And that they covered the difficulty caused by other people's perceptions and hostility to the idea. A good article, I think, and worth reading!

I just did my Poetry Fishbowl this week, and there's a poll up now to choose a free epic poem, as one of the perks. Everyone is welcome to vote.  Two of the three options are poems that feature asexual characters.  "The Odd Trio" is explicit about that; it's part of the plot in which three very different people form an adventuring party and eventually a family.  You can meet the ace, Hope, in "Hope of the Future."  "Alone in the Bee-Loud Glade" is more subtle; Rowen was originally introduced in "Rosehips and Honey" and is, per the prompt, "a very affectionate biromantic genderqueer character."  So if you'd like to see more poetry about asexual characters, you can go vote for that.

I'll probably come off as an intellectual snob asking this, but does anyone feel overwhelmed by their friends constant preoccupation with guys/girls looks? Im a romantic ace, but lately I've been feeling overwhelmed by my friends chittering away about which guy is the cutest or has a hot body, etc. I'm the type who finds some people beautiful, but then I pass them by & forget about them; looks aren't that important. Anyway, I've been finding it hard to relate to my friends lately bc of this & I really wish they'd talk about something a little more meaningful like books or art bc it seems like ALL conversations revolve around boys (my friends are all pretty much just starting college). Any advice on how to relate to them or encouragement, etc. etc. would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

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I've been trying to diagnose myself for a while and offhand typed in 'asexual or nonsexual' to see if I could find a definition of the differences between the two, and this site was top of the list.

My query, which hopefully you can help me with, is; can I identify as asexual, even though I love sex?

I like porn, love reading pwp fanfic (mainly slash) and have special me-time a few times a week. However, I've never been sexually attracted to anyone. ever.

I'm not interested in meeting someone and can't imagine actually having sex with someone. Or spending my life with anyone, sex or no. I have a perfectly healthy sex drive (I think). I have no childhood drama, all my sisters are happily married with kids and I don't consider that there's anything wrong with me, I just don't think that guy from the movie Thor is sexy unless he's having sex with the guy from Captain America and even then I don't want to have sex with either of them.

I've always thought of myself as asexual, but these days that seems more synonymous with non-sexual, which I don't consider myself to be. Any help???

Just wanted to let everyone know the first post of my webcomic is up at theasexylife.wordpress.org. It starts out slow, because it's a story comic I don't want to start off with too much pressure. I'll be updating tuesdays and thursdays for now.