Ok, so I've never wanted kids. Ever. And I've never been particularly interested in sex either, so I think the chances of me having kids is slim to none.
I am not saying that asexual people can't/don't have kids, it's just that for me, babies are not interesting.
Anyway, why am I even discussing this here?
Well, recently, I found out the one of my oldest friends is having her first kid. I am as happy for her as I will ever be, but that's not the point. The point is that we're 3 friends, and myself and my other friend have always said that we definitely don't want kids. Ever.
So now, my friend is having the baby (and she's the only married one,from the group too.) and well, my other friend and I are a little, what's the word, out-of sorts? I mean, we've known each other since we were between the ages of 11-13 till now that we are in our late 20's, so even though having kids is nothing out of the ordinary, it's still an interesting feeling since it's someone we've known for so long.
I'm rambling, sorry.
To get to my point, my other friend and I are discussing this, and she says something about her saying that she doesn't want kids, but that you have to think about it if you're in a relationship. She mentioned a coworker of hers that had also stated her desire not to have kids, but that she had been married for a few years and when she and her husband finally talked about it, he wanted kids, so she relented and was having trouble getting pregnant because she was stressing out so much over how she didn't really want kids until she finally relaxed and got pregnant. So my friend tells me that her coworker used the old-age words of "Well it's different when they are yours." To which I responded w/ "I've never wanted kids."
She responded w/ "Well, you are single so..."
But I am not convinced. You know that some people go gaga over a baby, I don't. I don't really find them cute. I mean, yeah, they are some cute ones out there, but in general, I don't want to squeeze them to death because they are so cute, usually I want them as far away from me as possible. On the other hand, show me a puppy, or specially a kitten, and I will want to smother them to death in a bear hug out of their sheer cuteness.
And that got me thinking (Not that if I ever were to maybe pursue a relationship I'll change my mind). What does my being single have to really do with not wanting kids? I mean, it's my body and the idea of something growing inside of me creeps me out, a lot.
I don't think being in or out of a relationship really matters. I seriously don't think I will ever compromise on that. I also think it's something that needs to be discussed early on in any relationship, but what bothered me was the assumptions that "You'll change your mind if they are yours" (but I told my friend that I didn't want to take that chance to see if I would change my mind) and 2 "Well that's because you're single..."
This second assumption coming from my friend that is in a relationship and had said that she wasn't having kids, even though her boyfriend would like some and going as far as telling him that if he wasn't ok w/ her not wanting kids then they should go their separate ways.
This second assumption was the one that bothered me the most.