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Regarding media...
Oh hi!
armina_skitty wrote in asexuality
Does anyone else here squirm when things start to heat up in a movie or series that they're watching? I was re-watching The Avengers the other day and realized that one of the reasons that I enjoy that movie so much is that there are no explicit romantic scenes. Oh, true, there are references to it, but nothing in-your-face, thus making the movie- well- comfortable for me. I know it's more than a little selfish of me, but I get very tired of watching scenes that nothing but fan-service, doing nothing to progress the story-line but do make me feel very uncomfortable by watching something that I cannot and will never truly understand.

Anyone else feel the same way?

Absolutely! And I never get to vent about that because it's considered either offensive or crazy (or jealousy!) in my surroundings. You cannot say you're fed up with romance but it's OK for people to tell me I'm abnormal for wanting neither sex nor romance *sigh*
I don't even have a TV at home because I'm fed up with every story having to have romance somewhere, even action/procedural shows/movies are now full of it. I don't remember shows focusing as much on romance in my childhood/teens (or maybe I didn't see it?)
I was obsessed with watching TV and movies till my late 20s, now I can't stand it because it's all too boring for me... and yes, I always expect some romantic interest to creep up to the story. It's inevitable.

Edited at 2013-11-18 10:17 pm (UTC)

The awkwardness about a sex scene while watching a movie with friends.. urgh. I don't mind a little romance for the character growth and dynamics, but when a series or movie takes a left turn into smut-ville... XP

Actually, I tolerate sex scenes more than I do romantic plots, probably because the latter are ubiquitous (even in cartoons! no escape!) but like you, it feels awkward to watch sex scenes, especially around family/friends.

If it's not too graphic or violent/rape then I can overlook it, but I'm truly annoyed if it's an absolutely pointless scene, contributing nothing to the plot or character development. I think of all the possibilities that were wasted in favor of something sexual that isn't necessary. My story teller heart weeps.

Me too. If the scene advances the plot, I'm okay with it. If it doesn't (romance novels, I am LOOKING AT YOU) I get annoyed and start skimming, because God, why would you waste page space/screen time with this?

I don't know if you know about the series 'Young Justice' but it was a series that had budding relationships as a secondary theme that I actually enjoyed because it added another layer of character development. But make-out scenes and sex-scenes in movies... You only have 90 to 120 minutes to tell a story! Stop wasting time with gratuitous sexuality!

This hits the nail on the head for me! Such a waste of time! I skim or fastfoward.

I'm romantic, so don't get me wrong, but in media there's something specific and widespread that also bugs me. Some movies have a romantic pairing just for the sake of having a romantic pairing and a supposedly "feel-good" kiss at the end when the day is saved. This is the kind of pairing that -- if removed -- would detract nothing from the plot. Umm, not every movie has to have a guy and girl pair up/fall in love really fast/share a kiss at the end. It feels like every movie I watch nowadays has the obligatory yet unnecessary romantic-but-realistically-not-really pairing.

not squirming, just bored...

ETA: on the other hand, I appreciate those scenes as a chance to go to the loo....

Edited at 2013-11-19 12:05 am (UTC)

When you're watching alone or with others? If I'm home alone, it's boring to uncomfortable, depending on how graphic the scene is. But if I have friends over.... oh, the awkwardness! *cringe*

Looks like I am lucky then, at least it does not make me feel worse than bored, so won't spoil a night out. Also, most of the stuff I watch with friends has very little of that sort - sexual and otherwise, we all appreciate well-written stories without gratuitous padding.

Yes, with you there. I really got into the series Scandal, and while I get that the relationship is a major plot in the series, everytime the two are in a scene alone together I just start jumping forward till the next scene, because it just bores me.

Yes, the fast-forward button is a good alternative to the loo-break :-)
Depends whether it's live broadcast/cinema or DVD.

I managed to miss the hilarious puppet sex scene in Team America first time round because it seemed like a good time to let out that pre-cinema drink...

Yes, me too. I've lost count of the times I've sat through some bit of gratuitous canoodling, wishing they'd just get it over with and move on to something interesting.

Even in Terminator, in which the session is actually important to the plot, I'd rather we'd just skipped to the two of them waking up together. In Watchmen, the sex scene matters to Nite Owl's characterisation, but it's still too long.

Definitely! I watched The Man With The Iron Fists recently, expecting a fun gory steampunk kung fu flick as advertised. I did not realise that most of the story takes place in a brothel, and the movie is rather... explicit about that fact. Including one scene that was a birds-eye pan of many small rooms full of people doing it, with no sort of subtlety or screening at all except for the artfully-draped clothing they all still thankfully wore.

But that's a bit of an extreme example, I get weirded out by those scenes in rom-coms where the two leads look into each others eyes, slowly lean forward, bump foreheads together and start breathing heavier, and then-- okay, eww, that's enough. Even if it's rated PG, it's still too explicit for me.

There again., I have a real fear/disgust of romantic kissing, so my reaction might be more extreme than others'.

Edited at 2013-11-19 03:05 am (UTC)

"I get weirded out by those scenes in rom-coms where the two leads look into each others eyes, slowly lean forward, bump foreheads together and start breathing heavier, and then-- okay, eww, that's enough. Even if it's rated PG, it's still too explicit for me."

Snap!

Yes, I get very uncomfortable. I avoid films with sex scenes as much as possible...I'd much rather go see a U rated film any day of the week!

I particularly hate movies where the character 'just can't help themself' because the sex is so good, even though the partner is a douche. I always have a sense of disbelief though, because I can't personally fathom being so 'into' someone that you could tolerate them being a jerk. I've seen it a bit lately in a few american sitcoms.

absolutely the same. I hate rom-coms with a passion and I hate when a supposed action movie or thriller suddenly has a sex scene or a romance thrown into the mix. I recently watched Prince of Persia and there was a scene at the end when the cave was collapsing, they both just survived the attack of an assassin with his cobra and suddenly they stop for a few minutes to stare into each other's eyes, slow music is playing and they're kissing endlessly while the villain runs towards his goal??! Like what the fuck even, how is that in any way okay and understandable. Does nobody get how absolutely weird and out of character that is? "Hey, the villain is 5 feet away from destroying the world, but let's take a break to kiss." I just don't understand it.

Or shows like Spartacus or Game of Thrones - I've only seen one episode of each, but it felt as if 70% of those eps were naked bodies or people having explicit sex. No thank you very much *gags*

That's why I loved Avengers, just like you. Women were dressed all the time and there wasn't a single kiss. Thank you very much.

I don't get uncomfortable per se, just bored.

It completely ruined Rome for me. There might have been great writing in there somewhere, but I was too bored by the sex to wait around for it. If the sex somehow progresses plot or character development I don't mind so much.

Yes and no.
I get annoyed when I see the Love=sex in movies, tv or books. I don't like hearing about that because even before I knew what asexuality was, I always thought that sex was 'meh' and didn't understand why people would say that the "spark" in their sex lives disappeared that's why the relationship was over. I've never believed in the love=sex thing, so I don't like seeing that in movies/tv shows or reading about it.

On the other hand,I really enjoy smut, even though after a while I do get bored by it, too.


Yep. I feel exactly the same. And I get bored and annoyed too.

I hardly ever watch television anymore, it's all DVDs, so I have the fast forward button at the ready. Unless I'm watching with my parents, then it makes me feel even more awkward to acknowledge what's happening on screen than to just leave it on.

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