I'm an asexual woman and few months ago I was diagnosed with vaginismus and wondering if there's a connection with asexuality. I'll cut this as there is a discussion of sex.
Before realising I was asexual, I never had an interest in sex anyway. I met my boyfriend a few years ago and while he has a very very low sex drive, he is not asexual. That's fine with me and we have had sex. I don't mind as it's a compromise as far as I'm concerned. Sex has always been painful but I brushed it off thinking it was nothing. I'd rather not have sex, but that's not because I find it repulsive, I just find it an inconvenience and a waste of time.
So, I went to my doctor who said I have vaginismus. She's suggested I see a sexual therapist (I think that was her title) who is trained in dealing with vaginismus. But I'm wondering if somehow subconsciously, me being asexual has played a part in this. Like I say, I don't find it repulsive, but I'd rather not have sex. But even though I do, is my body telling me that it doesn't actually want to do this. I don't have a negative attitude towards sex nor have I had any traumatic experiences.
I'm not even sure there's a lot that can be done. Ideally, I'd like to have pain-free sex for both my sake and my partner's, but...I dunno if that's possible. The same thing happens when I have a pelvic exam - pain. Has anyone here also been diagnosed with vaginismus? I'm not sure how much is just coincidence and how much is down to my orientation.
- vaginismus and asexuality