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What should I say?
sorceresspage wrote in asexuality
I need advice on something. I have been thinking that I might be asexual or even greysexual. Sex is not really something i think about, but that is not the issue. There are two people in my life that i spend a large amount of time with. They have both asked me if  I think I will ever want to have sex with someone at some point because right now i am still a virgin. I told both of them no i did not think i ever would because it is not something that i want to do. They both looked at me like i am crazy. Now they have a tendency of bringing up how i am going to have sex and turn into a "freak". They then proceed to describe every graphic sexual act that they apparently can imagine my "future freak" self enjoying. The terms "gagging on it" and calling my partner daddy are some of their tamer "prediction". I try to laugh it off, but it makes me very uncomfortable. I know if i say anything one of them will just tell me that they are joking and not to get so buthurt about everything. What am I supposed to do?
I'm sorry if part of this was a little non PG.

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Can I offer support without offering advice? I don't feel like I know enough about what these people are to you to offer advice, but I support that you are right to find their behavior objectionable.

Thank you for the support.I guess I was kind of vague on the people. One of them is my younger sister and the other is a coworker/friend.They are both also friends with each other. It is a weird situation to be in. I don't know if i should ignore it in hopes that they will stop and continue trying to change the topic when it comes up. Mind i am never suttle about changing the topic, but it always comes back up.

Just a thought. I bet your mom wouldn't be that cool if she knew her younger daughter was talking about chocking on cock. A little conversation with mom might really shut your sister up.

I'd go with telling them to knock if off, because it's not funny. If they continue, walk away.

That's my opinion, at least.

It's not a joke if the person they're joking about doesn't find it funny, it's harassment. It might be useful to point that out to them. If they continue after that it's worth seeking some help from someone who can help address bullying, especially at work. Depending on where you live, you might have legal protection against bullying on grounds of sexual orientation. I'd say try to spend less time with people who treat you like this, but I know it's often not easy.

These people are sexually harassing you and being sexually abusive to you.

If you really think they are your friends tell them point blank that you find their comments violently offensive.

True Fact: Most people don't want to gag on cock and the "Daddy" trope is out of porn and also not that common.

Second True Fact: If these people keep bringing up kink in front of you after you've told them it bothers you they are assholes and not your friends.

It's a sad fact that most people assume that everyone wants to have sex. It sounds like these people are ignorant of the fact that asexuality exists, and that maybe they are uncomfortable with an idea they've not encountered before and that they can't get their heads around. They also sound pretty immature. Their behaviour towards you sounds hurtful, I'm sorry you have to deal with it :( If it were me, I'd firmly say that you'd prefer not to talk about it, and ignore/walk away from it if it continues.


This sounds like sexual harassment. If all humans acted like them, then indeed sex would be a ugly proposition. You might also consider posting to bullying_begone.

Seconding everyone else; this is bullying and harassment, and it's not friendly, and it's not okay. You are not overreacting in any way. *hugs*

What they're doing is not nice. It is as another said a form of bullying. I'm not sure what advice to give, so I won't give any, except that you need to be true to yourself, kind to yourself, and not let them make you miserable. Whatever that means to you.

IF IT WERE ME, and if they were important to me, I'd let them know it bothers me. If they weren't important to me I would not associate with them. But that's me. You have to decide what to do.

People who care about you should know better than this.

I have to agree with the opinions above. This isn't just light teasing. The graphic things they're saying to you constantly is seriously messed up and you don't have to put up with it. Since one is your sister, I'm guessing it's difficult to avoid her. But I would definitely confront them - maybe have a sympathetic friend with you when you do for moral support.

Push comes to shove, I like the idea of having a talk with a parent about your sister's behavior, assuming you're out to your parents and they're supportive.

Edited at 2015-08-03 09:01 pm (UTC)

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