Entries by tag: sexual questionnaire

Participate in Research
My asexy people, I don't know if you've heard of the Asexual Explorations Blog but it is quite informative and the latest entry regards a study being done by the University of British Columbia. You could read more on it (see link below). The survey takes about an hour to complete and you get entered  for a money draw. Actually, the study is open to people of any sexual orientation (I suppose for comparative purposes).


asexual / demisexual / or just fucked up?
...until twenty minutes ago i had never heard the term 'demisexual' before.... but i feel compelled to post and ask for a bit of advice, something i've never done before, so please, bear with me.
when i was a teenager i couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.  if i was gay, because i knew i couldn't be straight...i didn't feel anything for people of the opposite sex, not in any sexual manner.  i found men attractive, women beautiful....like a bit of classical architecture, i would admire someone who was beautifully constructed, but there was never any personal aspect of desire involved in this admiration.  but it was the same thing with women---i've simply never been attracted to people like this.
i have, however, felt levels of sexual attraction with my current boyfriend, and twice before...but this was only after becoming romantically involved with them.  i found my x's, male and female, and i find my current boyfriend sexually attractive now....all of my other relationships just remained on ice.  i just had to fake it...which is no fun for anyone.  because people know, can sense, on a certain level, when u'r not really involved.  it's always been a major issue in all of my relationships.  but anyway, here's the twist.  i've never been able to achieve an orgasm....it's as if intimacy has allowed me to trip a tiny way down the yellow brick road of sexual attraction with certain people, but there's always a point where the road just....ends.  and it's always right before i should come.  i get to the point, feel as if it's going to happen, and then: bam.  i just shut down.  not even...just peeter out.  more like someone has just slit the throat on my desire---i go from 99 degrees to zero in a millisecond. 
i think that this latter issue has got to be some sort of emotional trauma thing...something happened when i was a kid, but how much of this, how much of this asexuality or demi sexuality i seem to exhibit can be blamed on potential trauma, and how much on just....the way i am wired? has anyone out there any advice? or ever been through anything like this? i don't want to go the rest of my life never knowing what it's like to be thoroughly intimate with someone...

"Sexual Questionnaire"
This came up in the comments on this post http://community.livejournal.com/asexuality/493546.html , so I decided to share it here:

Sexual Questionnaire

This questionnaire reverses some of the questions that are often asked of asexual people by sexual people. The purpose of these questions is to challenge the assumption that all people inherently are or should be sexual. By trying to answer these questions, one can gain some insight into how oppressive this frame of reference can be.

1. When and how did you first decide you were sexual, and why did you make that choice?

2. What do you think caused your sexuality?

3. Is it possible that your sexuality is just a phase that you will grow out of?

4. Is it possible that your sexuality stems from a neurotic fear of dealing with people and not just their bodies, or from a neurotic obsession with physical bodies, or an inability to see past a body?

5. If you’ve never had a really intimate, asexual relationship with someone, how do you know you wouldn’t prefer that?

6. Sexuality and sexual activity can be indicative of hormonal or psychological problems, and even brain damage. Have you considered getting your hormones checked or having a psychological assessment?

7. Many people who have been sexually abused when young act out sexually and become very sexual later in life. Were you abused as a child or teenager? Is that why you are sexual?

8. To whom have you disclosed your sexual tendencies? How did they react?

9. Would you want your children to be sexual, knowing the problems they would face, and all the complicated things they would need to deal with in their relationships and lives?

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are sexual. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to sexual teachers?
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