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36 wrote in asexuality
I've just created this community because I saw a gap which needed filling. The asexuals community is a good place for celibate people to discuss the difficulty of living in a society which continually pushes sexual images into our faces, but as such it is usually full of posts attacking sexual activities of others.

Personally I am sex positive, I think people should have as much or as little sex as they like with whoever they're attracted to. As long as sex is consentual I think it's a positive pleasurable thing and that people should be allowed to enjoy it if they wish to. Sex doesn't have to have meaning if those involved decide it doesn't. I'm not against sex as 'casual' or 'trivial'.

But I am asexual. I have no sex drive worth speaking of. My attractions to people are purely emotional or aesthetic. I'm involved in the bisexual and queer communities because I believe in loving (or if people like, sexual) relationships between people, regardless of sex, gender or any other boundary. If all parties consent and it makes them happy then I'm all for it.

Being asexual I sometimes feel like something of a 'space alien' when I deal with other people. Most sexual people are motivated to do things by their sexuality, I don't have those motivations. Most people assume that everyone is sexual. In such a sexual society in some ways I'm slightly removed from the mainstream. Sometimes I feel like an observer. Sometimes sexual content completely surprises me -- I'm always amazed to hear how so much internet traffic is devoted to pornography. I knew porn was there but I didn't imagine quite so many people were looking at it.

This community is here to discuss those sorts of feelings and issues.

I don't believe that sex need be a part of loving committed relationships. I don't believe that people need to be sexually attracted to each other to have a 'real' romance. Relationship related posts are also encouraged.

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Wow...this place seems built for me.


I'm glad you feel included.

If you feel like helping the community grow, why not post an introduction post? If only to explain why you feel included and so on.

In my experience posts breed posts and without discussion there isn't really a community.

But feel free to decline the offer if you just want to watch, that's allowed too :)

I'm sure I'll write an intro post soon. I'll save it for tomorrow, though, at least, because right now I'm really exhausted. :)

Synchronicity is a really funny thing. I haven't consciously thought about asexuality for a while. (My own sex drive tends to be cyclic, varying between high and extremely low, so I'm only periodically asexual.) And I've never really talked to anyone about it. In the past few days, however, I've had very meaningful conversations with three different people on the topic. And then I see you post about this community in genderqueer...

It seems that every so often a number of different forums erupt into stimulating discussions. Although at the moment I'm practically socially excluded, preparing for and sitting for my final year exams, it seems that I'm getting more interesting conversation than when I'm free to roam.

Welcome :)

Yes! *pumps fist*
Awesome community. As another person who had questioned the nature asexuals community (as you may remember from my post there), I fully support this community as a complementary addition and/or alternative.
Like you said, I don't think there is anything wrong with the asexuals community at all (after all, I am a member and read and post there from time to time), but I did feel that there still was a lack of focus/discussion about "classic" asexuality as you said, and maybe this community can foster it.

I am going to join, and will problably put up an introductory post with more about me just for fun since I know you all care. hehe

Alright, well on second thought, LJ's being a little cranky and I have to get ready for bed, so we'll have to wait a bit on my fabulous post...but don't worry, I'll be back :)

From the length of the members list, I'd say there was certainly interest in this aspect of the concept of asexuality.

I think lifestyle and classical asexuals do have experiences to share, it's just that, due to asexuals' profile, the other community tended to be filled with posts attacking the sexual choices of others. As a live and let live person who happens not to have a sex drive, I found that my experience and feeling wasn't represented at all in the majority of posts and the feel and description of the group.

I think there was a post a while ago where someone stated that it was impossible to abstain from sexual activity (I may be misremembering), which left me feeling that I was something completely different to the 'asexuality' the group was describing.

I'm looking forward to discussions and focus on classical asexuality. Got to go now, lots of fostering to do :)

Dear Abby, (Haha, no.)

I've been wondering, recently, if I am asexual, and I was hoping you could help me out; I really can't figure out where else to turn.

I found that this post connected with me in many ways; I feel the same way. I've never been sexually attracted to anyone (though I can point out members of both sexes who are "good looking"), and I don't believe I've ever had a crush (well...maybe one, in grade six, but I'm not sure about that).

I want love, but not sex, though I believe that if someone else wants to have it, they can go right ahead.

However, the one thing that you don't mention here is the aspect of pornography. I was wondering...can I be asexual if I'm still able to lubricate (but not actually reach climax...at least, I don't believe I've ever done so. O.o;) while reading stories or fanfiction about others having sex?


Try joining the community and then posting here to ask your question where all the members will see it.

That will give you the widest range of answers. There's also the AVEN network at http://www.asexuality.org/ which has an active community message board.

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