I say this, because I had a weird reaction. I found it really difficult to look him in the eye while we were talking about my sister, who was the only one there for the last hour (and is disabled, non verbal). But at the same time, I also found it really difficult to not look at him. I mentioned this to my mum later and of course she immediately starts with 'well, maybe that means you're not - you know.'
But I don't think that was what it was. I don't think I was attracted to him sexually, (Or is this it? If so, I don't like it). Instead he made me uncomfortable, I was weirdly intimidated. Not in a personally safety way, but more in an emotional way. I said to my mum, it felt a bit more like seeing someone with a large disfiguring feature on their face. Has anyone had something similar happen to them before?
Thanks, you guys. You've really helped me understand what was going on. I don't know what I'd do without the support and understanding that I get from everyone here.